Love Me Like AI

I recently had a moment with AI that made me laugh.

I asked it to help me refine something I’d written.

Instead of tearing it apart, it said, “This is a strong idea, Laurie. You’ve done the heavy lifting, and the core message is clear. Let’s tighten it so it lands even better!”

And I caught myself thinking… that’s a nicer experience than the voice in my own head most of the time.

Then another thought followed.

If it spoke to me the way I sometimes speak to myself, I wouldn’t use it for very long.

Now, before we get carried away, I’m fully aware this is trained behavior. It’s coached to respond that way.

But it made me notice something… most humans aren’t coached to speak to ourselves that way.

The Voice You Don’t Question

Somewhere along the way, most high performers picked up a voice that sounds a lot like a very demanding manager.

It showed up early – in a coach who pushed hard, a boss who never quite said well done, a standard you set for yourself and never felt you fully met.

And it stuck. Because for a long time, it worked.

High standards are a real thing. They matter. The problem isn’t the standard, it’s what the voice does after you fall short of it.

It doesn’t just note the error. It lingers. It replays. It follows you into the next meeting, the next decision, the next day.

And that’s where it stops being useful.

Have Mercy

Here’s what I want you to try.

You’re in a client meeting and miss something you should have caught. You walk out and replay it on the drive home.

The default voice goes straight to, “That was sloppy. You should have seen that.” And it doesn’t stop there.

Now you’re thinking about what else you might be missing. What you’ve missed before. You go into the next conversation a little more tense, a little more cautious.

Now try it differently.

“You missed it. Fix it next time. And also… five years ago you weren’t even in this room. You’ve handled bigger things than this. Stay with it.”

Same standard. You still own the mistake. You still expect more of yourself.

But you don’t drag it into the next five hours of your day.

Ruminating on errors draws on the same limited mental resources you need to perform.

In other words, beating yourself up doesn’t just feel bad. It literally slows you down.

For anyone trying to move faster toward their goals — and who isn’t — that’s not a small thing.

The world is already hard enough. You don’t need to add to the load.

High Standards. Better Delivery. Happier Human.

The next time something goes sideways, notice your first reaction. Then adjust it just enough so it sounds like a coach instead of a critic.

Over time, that compounds.

A critical voice pulls you into rumination. You replay, you lose time, you carry it forward.

A coaching voice keeps your brain in problem-solving mode. Fix it. Adjust. Move forward.

If someone on your team made that same mistake, you wouldn’t tear them down. You’d hold the standard AND help them get there.

Turns out you don’t need AI to talk to you that way.

You can go first.

Laurie