Independence: Great for Toddlers, Terrible for CEOs
Confession time. I’m recovering from chronic independence.
Like many Gen X’ers, I was raised to “figure things out.”
Growing up in a small town with entrepreneurial parents, independence was the default. Why use an accountant, plumber, or a housecleaner when you could do it yourself?
That mindset followed me into my career where I became the one who always stepped up to solve problems. The praise rolled in and I learned a lot…
But here’s the thing, when I started working with other business owners who shared the same independence streak, I realized it was capping businesses potential and causing burnout.
So to my fellow business owners who often feel they should be able to do it all too: I see you. I understand you. I am you.
Which is why I’m telling you that it’s okay to ask for help.
And here’s why…
Independence Hits a Ceiling
Today’s business world is too complex for any one person to keep up.
Doing everything ourselves is not only slow and inefficient, but it also costs us money in the long run.
By seeking others’ expertise, we always learn something new.
Asking for help, however, creates small, fast wins that snowball into bigger ones. We learn faster, move faster, and everyone levels up.
We are simply better together.
And there’s another hidden cost. Our independence can keep our team small literally and figuratively.
When we do it all, they never get a chance to grow.
Independence Shrinks Our Influence
When we never lean on others, we unintentionally signal that we don’t need them.
Over time, this can make colleagues, partners, or even your team feel unnecessary or undervalued. Influence grows when others feel their contribution matters.
I learned this lesson personally in college.
Fiercely independent, I insisted on moving into the dorm all by myself. Later, my mom admitted she and my brother sat on my bed and cried after I drove away.
I didn’t consider how my choice to handle the transition alone would make them feel. It was an opportunity for them to support me, and I took that away.
Work Is Just More Fun Together!
I have a favorite memory of this.
Whenever my Mom undertook a big painting project, she invited the local painting pro, Polly, to help.
Polly would show up in a “painting wig” crank the radio, show off some painting tricks and it felt like we were having a party.
Watching them, I saw how hard work becomes joyful when you’re not doing it alone.
Speak Your Needs & Magic Happens
This is what I love most about less independence. Something special happens when you say what you need out loud.
When we name the help we’re looking for, it’s as if the universe (or our network) perks up and says, “Oh, now I know where to step in.”
It isn’t luck AND speaking your needs out loud isn’t weakness. It’s an invitation for connection and serendipity.
How many times have you finally admitted you’re stuck only to have the perfect resource, introduction, or idea show up within days? That’s the magic.
Takeaways:
This week, when you find yourself stuck on a persistent problem or if a “simple” task turns into something more involved, stop and ask:
“Who can help me with this?”
Speak that request out loud, and let me know what happens.
And if that answer is Laurie… well I’m only an email or call away😎
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